4.9.22 wretchworld

I wonder what this website is exactly. Originally it was meant to be just a container for my music but it's changed a lot since then. Blogs, galleries, entire pseudo-archives of old site(s)... I just am unsure what this place is here for. I guess it still is just a container for me and what I do but it feels odd to have the entirety of myself as a shell someone can come look at whenever they spot it on neocities. It just feels strange to envision someone I am entirely unaware of sitting down and being able to know everything about my personality, my interests, just me basically. I have contemplated disabling my neocities profile before but idk if that solves the issue, it just deters it. At the end of the day I think I just have to accept that art and one's self is never truly all contained. Maybe my lil web of noise isn't anything out of the ordinary.

4.3.22 To Do List

A lot of other sites seem to have one so I thought it'd be fair if I listed out my plans for this lil pocket of web I have.

Redesign/Rework - Not a complete redesign or rework by any means. I like the site in its current state, quite a lot actually. I just feel there are specific elements and pieces that can be changed in a manner to better suit the aesthetic I am going for. I want to fill more pages with gifs and overzealous imagery. Get a better font perhaps, I like the current one but having spent a number of years interested in typography it's only fair to experiment. Sort the blogs, I have a lot of words and I'd like it to be easier for a user to view all of it. (Even though I don't recommend that lol) Fix up some pages, gallery for example is broken and unkept. It's just a placeholder for now. Homepage also needs a rework. I think I'm going to return to the old layout on the homepage.

Add A Chat Element - Seems like it'd be fun to have a chat room of sorts. Back in the early years of my interest in recreating the old-internet I had a forum for me and my friends and it was super fun. I hope to recapture that same feeling and just make a silly space to talk :3

Create Custom Music Players - I like the basic one and it works but it sticks out like crazy in contrast to the rest of the site. Literally no other light grey elements to be seen. This one should be easy, like a day's work TOPS...

Make More Custom Icons/Pics - I wanna add a bit more charm to the site and I think custom icons and like lil imagery would do that job well. Nothing too crazy but I wanna try and play around with the visuals to make the landing page and other areas a bit more appealing to the eye. Some of the main things I wanted to give a shot was custom banner ads and frames. I love the banner ads I have on here now so it's probs look sick to have some decent WRETCHWORLD ones yk.

Logo - As I so lovingly explained in my last post, I want a nice definitive logo.

Updated Banners - I like the starry background with the skull and text but it just feels a bit too plain for my liking. It does the job for now but I'd enjoy it if there was a more charming topper to the pages of this site. This essentially goes hand in hand with the other two to do list items but it takes more work since I also have to implement it into the site.

New Site Buttons - The current ones are fine, they work. It could be a lot better though...

Actually create the ??? page - I have had the test pages for this page forever and had directly included this in my original site plan from a few months back so idk why it's taken me so long to get to. I will get to it eventually though. Not giving away what it is tho :3c

Add an Art History Corner - It absolutely will not be groundbreaking in the slightest but I would love to have a personal archive and collection of pieces I find absolutely great, maybe write some stuff about the piece along with some informational stuff. I think it would be cool considering what I do. I have every one of my other interests on here already...

Cool, idk when nor if I will ever get all this done but I hope to work on it over the coming months. Busy with school for the next few weeks but after that I have nothing but time to burn lol. Well that's not true but it's way cooler than the truth soooo. Yeah but awesome, I think this is all super doable and will just make the site more fun in general. Thanks for reading!!

4.2.22 Creativity, or lack thereof

It is damn hard making anything, just creating is a pain in the ass. Feel like I've been dwelling in this pit of creative nothingness for months and every time I try to climb out I slip on a rock covered in some weird gaussian blurred pixel mess. It sucks, it just sucks. I've been trying to make a definitive logo for this site for some time now and since I have been a bit more active on here this week I thought hell now's the perfect time to do that. A bunch of failed attempts later and I just feel defeated. They all look either amateur or completely pointless. I wonder if a lot of this strife is simply coming from me trying to force myself to create, or if I am just in a bad mood lol. Whatever the case it isn't fun. Sit down for the evening and spend a couple hours here for nothing to really materialize. Then do it again for the rest of the week. I mean I know it's getting me closer to the eventual point of having a breakthrough but it's starting to really wear me down. I think I'm just gonna take a complete break from logos now, otherwise I might just lose it lol ;3.

this is entirely unrelated to the blogpost but I found this on gifcities and I absolutely adore it

3.30.22 OTHER WORLD

I've always really enjoyed the look and feel of early cg stuff, it just feels so out there. Other worldly ;3... Yeah well it's cool and that's the main reason I added "OTHER WORLD" to the site. It is still a wip and was created in a haste as im very sleepy (lol) but it will fill out well eventually. I hope to be able to archive a good number of pieces I enjoy there, in due time. For now its just four cool ones I could quickly find the sources for. Awesome blog post (Name-Undefined), great work. Thanks!

3.22.22 Art History

I don't think i've mentioned it much on here much, or at all. But i'm a huge art history buff, well actually I think I just count as an art historian but i'm not sure what differentiates like a buff or a historian. Its both a hobby and my career but sometimes its more a hobby than a career, or more a career than a hobby. Idk I just enjoy the history of art. I find it super cool, like the theory surrounding pieces, or the concepts, or the influences. It is just all extremely intriguing. I specifically enjoy studying architecture and design from the 19th to 20th century, I fixated hard on modernism when I first discovered it. Now it is kind of regarded as this shit pit of design but when that shit was still the "avant-garde" it was pure bliss lol. I think I wanna make a specific space to talk about art on here eventually. I mean probably when I have more free time, I kind of already write a lot about art in my non-free time so it isn't exactly something I'm trying to relax with lol. (I tend to only post on here when my brain is completely off or burnt out :3) But yk it's important to me, love me some art. Cool awesome...

Here's a building i've been particularly obsessed with lately. The Farnsworth House, it really feels like one of the "perfect" examples of modernism to me. The use of materials is extremely in line with the general tone of modernism, its literally just steel and concrete with some glass in between it lol. It's shape is absolutely perplexing though, it just feels so rigid and unreal. It looks too perfect to be man made and yet here it is. I loved the mix of modernist architecture that was happening during the postwar era. A lot of designers really began to move away from the functionalist attitude adopting the more humanist approach. They had some fun creating interesting shapes or colorful buildings. Then we get stuff like the Farnsworth house, just as grid based as it gets. I would love to visit it someday, it's amazing to look at in photos and i'd imagine even cooler in person.

3.13.22 World Wide Web

This whole internet thing is so wack, to be perceived by others I would never even cross paths with in my day to day. Not a new concept but it's still hard to grapple with. You life and die this normal life but now suddenly we have to deal with the information and blinking lights of these brain breaking machines.

It’s weird being somebody, like, I'm here , I'm alive and i'm putting words to the wall of my website. Number of people that’ll actually see it is low but there is surely a person going to read this one way or another. I don’t know them, I will never know you. And yet for a moment you give me your time and take a piece of me. It’ll probably leave your mind soon but like rn in the moment i'm in your world and you’re in mine. It’s cool, a little bit scary but cool. In a distorted entirely detached way I am having some moment with another nobody. Interesting how the internet as a whole kind of gives the normal person the experience of a celebrity or somebody of notoriety. I am sure this would have happened in the past in different ways but to think that like, just on a regular basis we now share ourselves to the world of strangers and random nobodies. Its off

I got off social media a while back for this exact reason, the only real presence I kept was my music. But now this website has begun to function like how my pages did before. It’s a lot less popular but nonetheless I am here, putting words into a nothing sphere to be gawked at. Gawked is a strong word, peered maybe? Maybe just stare idk. Just, what purpose does this place serve for me. Expression I would like to think was a learning experience too. Still is, trying to figure out new things and build this place from the “ground” “up”. But what else does it do for me. Idk… wish I did, wish I could understand the looming possibilities of something such as this place. TO put my thoughts, my expressions, my emotions and creations to a wall to be looked at by others. Wish i could see the effects of it on myself.

I don’t really like the following feature. I got away from social media shitsites cause I was bored of the whole following mechanic. Feels contrived. Still cool though, been finding a lot more really sick webospheres as of late and i'm glad I can like put a pin in em to remember em. Just, idk I wish there was a kind of freedom from that world. To enter another plane of existence in which there is no outside stimuli, just me. Blahh world works in funny ways I guess.

lil look into my world

3.10.22 The sopranos

apologies to the few that read this site for my distance... NOT!! HAHA yeah but besides all that i've been doing alright these past few weeks. Finally have a break from writing pages and pages on old buildings and paintings and can finally come back to the world i love the most. THe fake one I created in html, lol. This place just feels nice, there's a specific freedom to the online world. Yeah it can come back to haunt you but that's if people care, me? no one seems to give a shit what i'm up to. So i just toil in my endless bubble making shit and writing nonsense until I grow bored and move to some new activity. It's great, let's me air out my grievances through personal expression. Realize that blurb comes off a little mopey but it's true, there is a magical feeling when ur a nobody on the information highway. I feel like I'm creating cave paintings, they'll study the art and not the artist. Its beautiful. Besides all that though, I've been up to a lot lately. Been working on more visual arts and music, feel like i've gone back to my roots in a way. Been watching the sopranos lately, great show. Feel like everyone has said everything there is to say about it but it's really just a fantastic piece of media. I feel like I see myself in Christopher, a lot of similarities. Obviously there's a lot loss drama and pressure in my actions but you know there is still a clear line between me and him. Oh yeah and before I go I plan on updating a lil bit of this site today or tomorrow. Thinking I might add an about page or smthing, also wanna fix up the music pages. I wanna make em function like full on players so you can listen to all my stuff in one place. Kind of grown tired of the bandcamps and the soundclouds, making me. Cool... :3

2.26.22 I'm bad at doing stuff

im like really bad at just consistently doing stuff lol. like once I finished the general layout and stuff with this site I just kinda stopped working on it. There is a bunch of unfinished parts that would take like maybe an hour or two to completely fix but meh can't do it. I've also been pretty busy with music lately, finally got back into a good pattern and have been plugging away at this sick new album. I hope to get into a kinda cool pattern of sharing and talking about stuff on here tho cause I do kinda really enjoy the whole personal website thing. Don't really got anywhere else to type out long strings of words so its fun :3... I hope to do more stuff akin to the Leather Diamond article, there is a bunch of stuff I just kinda want to talk about and I enjoy framing it like its important lol. Whatever just glad there is like an outlet for all my stuff now!!!